This time last year, Mrs K and I had just had our 16 week scan and were looking forward to welcoming our son, Luca, into the world in April 2017. About two weeks after the scan, Mrs K went into premature labour at 19 weeks and required a cervical cerclage in order to prevent Luca from being born – a baby born at such an early gestation would never survive. For 7 weeks the cerclage held and during those 7 weeks we experienced countless visits to the hospital, multiple bleeds and no end of worry.
Come the New Year, the cerclage was still holding out and we were thinking that maybe, just maybe things were starting to look up for us – for the first time since the pregnancy, we allowed ourselves to start to look for baby items. It was New Years day and it felt like a new beginning.
After everything, could we, finally, begin to enjoy our pregnancy?
On January 8th Mrs K’s waters broke and we rushed off to hospital. Luca was 25 weeks and had a fighting chance if he were to be born at this gestation. We were moved to another hospital that had the facilities to accommodate babies of this gestation and, although the situation was precarious, we knew that he had a chance however slim. On Sunday January 8th, Mrs K developed an infection and to our shock, Luca passed away that evening. All our hopes, the dreams and experiences we had longed for were shattered in an instant. We were devastated. Mrs K gave birth to Luca shortly after having an operation to remove the cerclage. I love Mrs K more than anyone could ever imagine, but I have never loved her more than on that day. We held Luca, he was fully formed and looked a little like both of us. It was a bittersweet moment; we were meeting our son for the first time, but in the most tragic of circumstances.
thegaminghubby’s room was never intended to be a permanent fixture. Our thinking was that I could enjoy it for a few years until Luca was ready to move in with his cot and all the things young babies need. I imagined playing games with him; the NES mini was bought, in part, as a means of introducing him to this hobby of mine when he became older. My entire collection was to be his one day. Now, as the gaming room takes shape, there is a special corner where we keep his things; memory boxes that were given to us by the hospital and his teddy bear that has a recording of his heartbeat.
There will always be a place on the sofa for Luca and the room will always be our little hideaway.